Saturday, March 2, 2013

Health Club Observations

This is an post from an blos I wrote back in 2007. I hope you enjoy the humor.

Health Club observations

I am a member of a health club. I have been a member for over 7 years. When I first joined I was morbidly obese and hated to see myself in the mirror. When I chose a locker I would get one where there were no mirrors. As I worked out more and I began to feel better about myself(even though I had not lost any weight) I started using the lockers by the mirrors. # 315 was my locker number (until they remodeled and changed all the locker numbers a couple years ago). I did water aerobics. It was easier then going upstairs to the gym area and compare myself to all the hard bodies. My body was submurged in water for the duration of the class.
As a few years went by and I lost a significant amount of weight(115lbs). My weight loss was a result of loving me more then the food that I had been putting in my mouth. I began to venture upstairs to the gym area. I learned to follow the rules upstairs.
Never make eye contact with someone who is seriously working out. Never make eye contact with someone who is not seriously working out. If you are at the gym with someone you know, never gather in a group to point and discuss someone else there who is working out. Save that until you go to dinner afterward. Never offer suggestions to anyone about their workout. Especially if they have a worse body then you do. Don't spit in the water fountain. Never check someones body out after they walk by you, especially in the locker room. There are mirrors everywhere and they can see you checking them out.
Observations in the pool area.
Some women wear swim suits they should not be wearing in public. Some guys wear swim suits they should not be wearing in public.See next paragraph for advice. Guys always adjust the front of their trunks as they exit the water. They close the pool for 24 hours when someones kids poops in the pool. Avoid the pool area on Tuesday and Friday nights (family nights). The sauna is very hot and if you stay in there long enough you are going to sweat alot. The suds on top of the water in the hot tub is probably from someones swimsuit that didn't get rinsed enough in the washing machine. This area is a little more liberal about the "no eye contact" rule. Although if you make eye contact, make sure it is eye contact only. No checking out the swim suit or body.
A little pool apparel advice.
Ladies if you are going to wear a skimpy bikini or swimsuit, DON'T keep tugging on it. Wear it like you own it. Tugging on it only makes everyone aware of how uncomfortable you are in it. If your swimsuit is old and falling apart THROW IT AWAY. Buy a new swimsuit. If you see another woman who is still wearing that worn out suit. be a friend to her and let her know there are parts of her being seen by people who don't want to see those parts. She will thank you.
Guys leave the speedo at home and don't wear a white or yellow swim trunk. We can see through it when it gets wet. It's not a pretty picture.
Remember to shower before you enter the pool 
Peace and Blessings,

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